FOR SALE: 1989 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z Convertible

Warning: May Cause Spontaneous Flashbacks to Highschool

Price: $19,890 (or best nostalgic breakdown)

The Facts (As Uncomfortable As They May Be)

• Engine: 350ci V8 that sounds like freedom being processed through a paper shredder – in the best possible way. Originally a 305ci, but we upgraded it because apparently size does matter when you're compensating for that receding hairline.

• Transmission: 5-speed manual, because nothing says "I peaked in high school" like grinding gears in a mall parking lot while "Eye of the Tiger" blares from the custom sound system.

• Mileage: 25,000 miles shown (True Mileage Unknown – much like your actual age after you start driving this thing)

• Color: Fresh red paint job so pristine it makes a Ferrari jealous and your neighbors suspicious about your sudden windfall

What Makes This More Than Just A Car (It's A Time Machine)

This isn't just transportation – it's a portal to 1989 when your biggest worry was whether Motley Crue or Def Leppard had the better power ballad. Every Gen-Xer who sees you driving this will either:

• Immediately remember when they (or their cooler older sibling) had one just like it, back when they thought frosted tips were a viable life choice

• Get Vietnam-style flashbacks of their high school boyfriend doing donuts in the Dairy Queen parking lot while wearing a Members Only jacket

Bonus Features That Will Transport You Back to Reagan's America:

• 🎵 AUTHENTIC SOUNDTRACK INCLUDED: We're throwing in an original 1982 "A Flock of Seagulls" cassette tape – because nothing says "I was there" like "I Ran (So Far Away)" playing while you're stuck in traffic, wondering where your life went wrong.

• 💇♂️ COMPLIMENTARY MULLET WIG VARIETY PACK: Choose from "Business Up Front, Party in the Back," "The Kentucky Waterfall," or "I Have No Regrets" styles. Because let's face it – your current hairline isn't doing this car justice, and you need something that flows dramatically when the convertible top is down.

Technical Specifications (For Those Who Care About Such Things)

• Wheels: 16" alloy wheels that somehow make every drive feel like a music video

• Suspension: UMI lowering springs and Bilstein shocks (because scraping speed bumps is a small price to pay for looking cool)

• Sound System: Custom Bluetooth-enabled setup with Alpine amplifier and Skar subwoofer (perfect for playing your "Totally Awesome 80s Hits" Spotify playlist)

• Interior: Gray vinyl seats that have seen things – witnessed more breakups than a high school guidance counselor

• Air Conditioning: Present but the cabin fan needs replacement (much like your youthful optimism)

Performance Modifications That Scream "Mid-Life Crisis Done Right"

This IROC-Z has been tastefully modified with subframe connectors, a strut tower brace, and enough performance upgrades to make you dangerous in a Walmart parking lot. The engine has been rebuilt with Mahle pistons and a GM performance cam, because apparently we're taking this whole "reliving our youth" thing seriously.

The Hard Truth

Who This Car Is For:

• Anyone born between 1975-1985 who wants to feel alive again

• People who unironically use the phrase "back in my day"

• Individuals who need a conversation starter that doesn't involve their mortgage rate

• Those who believe that hair metal was, in fact, real music

Who This Car Is NOT For:

• People who value fuel economy over emotional therapy

• Anyone who thinks subtlety is a virtue

• Individuals who don't want random strangers approaching them at gas stations to share their own IROC-Z stories from "back in the day"

Warning Label

• Side effects may include: Sudden urges to buy acid-washed jeans, inexplicable knowledge of Whitesnake lyrics, and the overwhelming desire to tell everyone about "the good old days." May cause spouse to question your judgment and teenagers to pretend they don't know you.

• Serious Inquiry Only: Must be prepared to become "that guy" at every car show who starts sentences with "Well, back when I had my IROC..."

Contact Information

Ready to embrace your destiny as the coolest person in the Costco parking lot?

Serious buyers only.

Must provide proof of at least one embarrassing 1980s hairstyle photo for verification purposes.

Clean Utah title, accident-free Carfax, and a lifetime supply of nostalgic regret included.

"It's not just a car – it's a lifestyle choice you'll either embrace or spend the rest of your life explaining to your therapist."