For sale: a beautiful white 2012 BMW 335i with just 70k miles—and a personality that absolutely refuses to behave like a normal car.

This is the car that convinced my wife she needed a radar detector, because (and I quote) “it wasn’t her fault she was speeding, the car just wanted to go faster.” She’s not wrong.

Under the hood, this thing is far from stock. It’s been upgraded with a big turbo swap, upgraded exhaust with a Borla muffler and custom downpipe, upgraded injectors and coil packs, and a tune by Twisted Tuning. The result? A very healthy 650 horsepower to the wheels on E45. It pulls hard, sounds incredible, and is about as subtle as a jet taking off.

Despite all that, it’s been well cared for—recently inspected by Simple Performance and given a clean bill of health (with the exception of the windshield because anyone who drives Utah roads knows that rocks come out of nowhere and aim right for the windshield). It also does not have a catalytic converter because it runs on a mixture of E85 and 91 (which i do have about 30 gallons of E85 I would be willing to send with you so the car runs on its preferred diet). It’s ready for its next owner, whether you’re looking for a weekend thrill machine or something that makes every on-ramp feel like an event.

If you’re interested or have questions, feel free to reach out.

If you’re hoping to let your 16-year-old “feel the power,” or want me to run a VIN check through a scammy third-party site of your choosing, please don’t waste either of our time.