The details of the previous owner’s life are quite inconsequential…. Very well, where do I begin?

His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for inventing new ways to fold napkins into swans. His mother was a cheerful French pastry enthusiast named Chloe who once claimed her croissants could solve world hunger. His father would invent things; he would daydream. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possesses and the insane lament…

His childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon… luge lessons… In the spring, they’d make meat helmets… When he was insolent, he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, he received his first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically taught him the sacred art of perfectly parallel parking between two shopping carts. There really is nothing like a flawlessly executed three-point turn — it’s breathtaking… I suggest you try it.

And that extraordinary individual was the one and only previous owner of this spectacular 2023 Kia Niro EV.

Odometer is a jaw-dropping 21,366 miles below market average!

126/101 City/Highway MPG of pure silent, planet-saving, “I just outsmarted every gas station forever” electric glory.

This beauty comes fully loaded with every single option the previous owner’s slightly unhinged genius demanded:

• 10.65 Axle Ratio

• 4-Wheel Disc Brakes

• 6 Speakers of pure sonic delight

• ABS brakes

• Air Conditioning

• Alloy wheels

• AM/FM radio: SiriusXM

• Apple CarPlay & Android Auto

• Auto High-beam Headlights

• Automatic temperature control

• Brake assist

• Bumpers: body-color

• Carpet Floor Mats

• Cloth & Vegan Leather-Trimmed Seats

• Delay-off headlights

• Driver door bin

• Driver vanity mirror

• Dual front impact airbags

• Dual front side impact airbags

• Electronic Stability Control

• Emergency communication system: Kia Connect (includes 1 year free trial)

• Exterior Parking Camera Rear

• Four-wheel independent suspension

• Front anti-roll bar

• Front Bucket Seats

• Front Center Armrest

• Front dual zone A/C

• Front reading lights

• Fully automatic headlights

• Heated door mirrors

• Heated Front Bucket Seats

• Heated front seats

• Illuminated entry

• Knee airbag

• Low tire pressure warning

• Navigation System

• Occupant sensing airbag

• Outside temperature display

• Overhead airbag

• Overhead console

• Panic alarm

• Passenger door bin

• Passenger vanity mirror

• Power door mirrors

• Power driver seat

• Power Liftgate

• Power steering

• Power windows

• Radio: Audio System

• Rain-sensing wipers

• Rear anti-roll bar

• Rear seat center armrest

• Rear window defroster

• Rear window wiper

• Remote keyless entry

• Security system

• Speed control

• Speed-sensing steering

• Split folding rear seat

• Spoiler

• Steering wheel-mounted audio controls

• Telescoping steering wheel

• Tilt steering wheel

• Traction control

• Trip computer

• Turn signal indicator mirrors

• Two-Level Luggage Board

• Variably intermittent wipers

• Wheels: 7.0J x 17'' Aero Alloy

This isn’t just a car.

This is the electric chariot of a man who once accused chestnuts of laziness… and then quietly saved the planet while doing it.

Claim your own piece of slightly unhinged genius history before someone else does.

The Niro EV is ready. Are you?